11 Meeting Killers and How to Kill those Killers

As leaders, it seems we spend an inordinate time in meetings. However, we can’t lead well without face time with others. And face time means we must meet with our teams in person. At the same time, an unproductive meeting wastes time and creates frustration. What are some common meeting killers? Consider these 11 and potential solutions for each (some very obvious).

  1. You do more than 25% of the talking.
    • Solution: monitor how much you talk and ask others off-line if they feel like you jabber too much.
  2. Team members regularly jump to conclusions and make pre-mature judgments about what others say.
    • Solution: train your team that great listeners seek understanding first before being understood (a famous Covey quote)
  3. Some people seldom speak up.
    • Solution: specifically ask the quiet ones what they think about an issue.
  4. Team members get easily hurt and offended when their ideas aren’t received well.
    • Solution: if a staffer consistently does this, talk off-line and find out what root issues are causing the touchiness.
  5. There is too much happy talk. Seldom do you discuss emotional and/or difficult issues.
    • Solution: don’t fear difficult conversations. Encourage them. Those can provide some of your greatest leadership learnings.
  6. Someone interrupts to complete somebody else’s sentences when he or she is having a difficult time formulating ideas.
    • Solution: if that happens, ask the person who was cut off if she felt she was able to fully share her thoughts.
  7. Personal stuff comes up that should have been addressed off-line and 1-1.
    • Solution: set expectations annually about how you expect meetings to go. Include the importance of discussing personal issues off-line.
  8. Too many rabbits get chased that have nothing to do with the agenda items.
    • Solution: if you lead the meeting, again, set the expectation that as the meeting leader you have the prerogative to shoot the rabbit.
  9. You try to accomplish too much in a meeting and as a result feel rushed.
    • Solution: schedule different kinds of meetings…perhaps some need to focus on weekly tactical items while others should focus on just one or two strategic items.
  10. Your meetings are waaaaay too long.
    • Solution: Shorten your meetings. Meetings beyond 2-2 1/2 hours are seldom productive unless you break them up with lunch, dinner, or something that isn’t mentally draining.
  11. You don’t start or end your meetings on time.
    • Solution: start and end on time.

What meeting killers have you seen in your experience? How have you killed those killers?

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Monday Morning Blues and the Pastor: 6 Proactive Steps

A pastor’s life is filled with both ups and downs. Sundays can be either. Good attendance, a message well-received, and positive people can make it an up day. Low attendance, poor offerings, and critical people can make it a down day. However, in my thirty plus years of ministry whether Sunday is up or down, I’ve found that most of us pastors often face the Monday morning blues. What can we do about them? Here are six suggestions I’ve learned through through the crucible of church life.

  1. Remind yourself that one down Sunday does not determine destiny. Sometimes my sermon is barely a bunt. Sometimes it seems the harder I preach, the more people’s eyes glaze over. Sometimes everybody decides to take their kids to Six Flags on the same Sunday and attendance tanks. Stuff happens. But I’ve discovered that when I take the long view of ministry, those down Sundays don’t loom as large.
  2. Refuse to second guess. Sometimes I’m tempted to dwell on how I could have organized my sermon to make it better. Or, I wish I had not preached so long. Or, I wish I had responded more tactfully to a critic. Potentially I could rehash the entire day and beat myself up for what might have been. But I’ve learned that second guessing in that way seldom solves anything. Yet, there is value in a healthy review which leads to my next suggestion.
  3. Develop a learning mindset. I’ve tried to create a learning environment at our church. I encourage staff and volunteers to learn at every turn. If something doesn’t go well or fails I ask the person involved, “What did you learn?” It’s just as helpful for us to ask ourselves that same question. Objectively review a Sunday service will yield good learnings. But the purpose is key. Review not to focus on what went wrong to then ruminate and regret. Rather, state what went wrong and ask yourself what you can learn from it to make things better next time.
  4. Realize it’s normal to feel a bit out of sorts. Sundays are usually stress-filled days and our body turns up the stress hormone, cortisol, and the neurotransmitter, dopamine, which is involved in reward and motivation. Usually Mondays don’t offer as much stimulation so your body is adjusting back to normal levels of these chemicals. As a result, you may feel a bit blue and unmotivated. There’s probably nothing wrong with you. Give yourself a day and you’ll feel back to normal.
  5. Never forget that feelings and thoughts don’t really mirror reality. When we feel down and discouraged, it’s easier to believe our feelings and the commentary we add to them. I’m a …. I just can’t …. I’ll never …. Our church will never …. Stepping outside our thought stream and reminding ourselves that our feelings are not reality is easy to do, but heard to remember to do. Yet, so very necessary to keep a healthy emotional life. The next suggestion has helped me do this.
  6. Think about what you are thinking about. The term for this skill is called metacognition. In other words, pay attention to your inner chatter that goes on when you daydream and think about what happened on Sunday. Neuroscientists tell us that we have five times more negative networks in our brains than positive ones so we naturally dwell on the negative. Because of this they’ve discovered that a wandering mind tends to make us unhappy. So during the day when you feel blue, periodically listen in to your silent, mental commentary and change it when it turns negative.

As I’m well into my second half of life, I’m realizing that managing the Monday morning blues actually gets easier. Perhaps it’s because after so many years of mishandling them, I’ve finally learning how to deal with them. Perhaps it’s because I’m more able to keep a big picture perspective. Perhaps it’s simply a result of growing wiser. Whatever the reason, I imaging the same will hold true for you, no matter what stage of ministry you’re in.

Remember these words from the writer of Hebrews, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus.’

What has helped you deal with the Monday morning blues?

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What One of the World’s Smartest Leaders Taught Me

Some time back I heard Malcolm Webber speak about leadership. With a PhD in organizational leadership and author of over 30 books, he understands the current leadership culture like few others I’ve heard. He leads an organization called LeaderSource and speaks to and trains leaders all around the world on the subject. As one of the brightest and most innovative leaders/leadership consultants today I had difficulty taking notes fast enough because most everything he said was worth remembering. Here are some highlights.

  • Great leaders must say yes to the right things.
  • Leaders must not confuse activity with results or size with success.
  • Leadership development is not discipleship. A discipled leader is assumed.
  • The three parts of the leadership process are:
    • Identification (what John Maxwell calls Discovery)
    • Development
    • Deployment
  • The biggest problem in leadership today is working with the wrong people (a paraphrase from the great missiologist, Ralph Winter)
  • Jesus’ men did not sign up. They were chosen.
  • Damaged leaders damage others.
  • There are two fundamental, foundational issues that must be in place for prospective leaders:
    • They can think. They…
      1. explore
      2. think ahead and outside normal patterns
      3. learn from mistakes
      4. remain teachable and adaptable
      5. think conceptually and holistically
      6. embrace ambiguity.
    • They act. They…
      1. don’t wait for someone else to act
      2. are probably already leading somewhere
      3. take responsibility and initiative
      4. challenge the status quo
      5. energize others.
  • When choosing leaders, keep these four ideas in mind.
    1. Look for people who think.
    2. Look for people who act.
    3. Look for people about whom you can observe their lives.
    4. Look for people who deeply depend on God.
  • Potential is not performance.

What insights about leadership have helped you lead well?

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5 Vision Killers

Casting vision is a key role every pastor must fill. Yet sometimes corporate attitudes and unhealthy cultures can get in the way. I’ve discovered five attitudes that will stifle even the best cast vision. See if you agree.

  1. Consumer Christianity reflected in the attitude, What’s in it for me?
    • Healthy churches realize they can’t consume their way into discipleship. Following Jesus is not all about us. Great churches rally around a unified cause centered in Jesus and move forward for the good of the whole and the glory of God even it means some people won’t get their preferred way. Good leaders will teach that flexibility and a deferential spirit are crucial ingredients for prevailing churches.
  2. Losing sight that the church gathers on Sundays to scatter the rest of the week.
    •  Leaders and churches must not lose sight that we live in a troubled world desperately in need of the Gospel. Attending church was never meant to be an end in itself.

      Rather we should gather to be transformed, taught, challenged, discipled, and inspired so that we then can scatter into our respective worlds as salt and light for the Gospel.

  3. Risk aversion.
    • Minimizing risk and maximizing safety can becomes a trait for risk averse leaders.  J Oswald Chambers who authored the devotional My Utmost for His Highest wrote, “The frontiers of the kingdom of God were never advanced by men and women of caution.” Great churches can’t play it safe, huddle and cuddle, strive for safety and security, nor guarantee comfort and convenience. While not throwing caution to the wind, great leaders and churches must take bold steps of faith
  4. Programs and processes that trump passion and people.
    • It’s easy to assume that great plans and strategies will automatically and easily reach people. They are important, but without a driving passion for God and a love for people, they are, well, only plans.
  5. The barrenness of busyness.
    • Busy pastors often struggle with this one. I know I do with what seems to be a limitless to-do list. However, busyness can make us miss God. And it does not always translate into productivity. As Bill Hybels has famously said,”Doing the work of Christ was killing the work of Christ in me.” When that happens, our hearts become calloused and cold, we lose our leadership edge, and vision gets stifled.

What have you experienced that can stifle a God-directed vision?

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5 Statements that Help Leaders Define Reality

I began serving as a lead pastor in Canada almost five years ago. When I arrived I had to adjust not only to a new church and a new staff but to a new culture as well. Fortunately I prepared myself for the transition by reading several books about on-boarding, the process of adjusting to a new job. One book, You’re in Charge, Now What suggested a process to help a new leader define reality with his or her new staff. Whether you are new to a ministry or business leadership role or not, consider using this process with your staff to learn fresh insight about your work setting.

Within the first month I asked one of the longest tenured staff members lead a discussion with the entire staff during a staff meeting. I gave the team instructions and then stepped out for about 45 minutes. He lead them to complete these statements in a candid sharing time. Here are the statements.

  1. We expect this from you…
  2. You need you to know this about us… (including what we believe we do well and where we need to improve as a staff)
  3. We want to know this about you and here are our concerns…
  4. Here are the burning issues now facing the church…
  5. Here are the major obstacles now facing the church...

After I left he recorded everyone’s responses on our conference room’s white board. When I returned, I read through each one and asked questions for further clarification. Here’s what I learned.

  • They wanted me to show that I cared for them through prayer, feedback, and truth telling.
  • They expected consistency and integrity.
  • They wanted to be taught, trained, and challenged.
  • They wanted to know what they could do better.
  • They wanted clear communication and clarity about their respective roles.
  • They wanted me to know that they worked hard and supported each other.
  • They wanted to know what was important to me, my boundaries, my personal struggles, and whether I wanted them to reply to every email I sent. 🙂
  • They wanted me to know that the church at the time faced financial challenges and trust issues.
  • They wanted me to know that I might face resistance to bringing change in the church.

This simple process provided an invaluable, honest, and simple way to help me define reality through the eyes of our staff. This experience helped me craft appropriate action plans to bring essential change for staff development and to the church at large.

My first eight months have been a joy and we’ve made great progress. This unique listening session helped set me up for success.

What tools have helped you define reality in your setting?

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