Malcolm Webber is one of my favorite leaders of leaders. With a PhD and over 20 books on leadership to his credit, he insightfully describes the dangers of a self-appointed leader in his book Healthy Leaders. He draws insight from a self-appointed leader named Korah described in the Old Testament book of Numbers, chapters 16-17. I’ve paraphrased these dangers below and contrasted them with 6 qualities of true God-appointed leaders.
- … resist existing spiritual authority (Nm 16.2).
- … criticize and question existing leaders (Nm 16.1).
- … accuse other leaders of what they themselves are guilty (Nm 16.3).
- … aren’t satisfied with the positions they hold. They push for greater authority and position (Nm 16.10).
- … murmur against leadership that God has appointed (Nm 16.11).
- … ultimately face God’s judgement (Nm 16.31-35).
- … willing submit to existing authority (Daniel’s repeated examples).
- … when issues and questions arise, they appropriately appeal up the chain of command and go to their leaders in private and in person (Mt 18.15)
- … avoid a judgmental spirit (Mt 7.1-5)
- … wait on God to promote them (Paul and Moses spent years in obscurity before rising to significant leadership)
- … only speak well of their leaders whether to their faces, behind their backs, or in the presence of others (Eph 4.29).
- … lead with the eternal goal in mind to hear Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Mt 25.21).
Of these two lists, which one most characterizes your leadership? If the first list does, what changes do you need to make so that list two most characterizes you?
Mornings are the most crucial part of our day. And how we begin them sets the tone for the rest of the day. Insightful leaders understand this truth and mentally prepare themselves when they get up. Drew Canole, founder of fitlife.tv says, “How you start your day is how you start your life.”
Consider asking yourself these 7 questions within the first 10 minutes of your morning.
- If I could only get one thing done today, what would it be?
- Have I set aside quiet time with God to pray, reflect, and read His Word?
- Is there any unconfessed sin in my life that I should confess?
- Are there any relational issues with others that need rectifying?
- Am I eating a healthy breakfast with plenty of protein and healthy carbs?
- Am I focusing on the positive, good things in life and ministry or do my thoughts immediately turn negative?
- Do I have a consistent routine like getting up at the same time, eating at the same time, taking a shower at the same time, etc. or is each morning dramatically different?
What we do first thing in the morning will dramatically affect the rest of your day. The Psalmist offers great advice with these words.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. (Ps 143.8, NIV)
How do you prepare for your morning?
Inevitably all leaders face disappointment, setbacks, and difficulty in their roles. As a pastor, I’ve faced my share at times: significant budget deficits, losing crucial staff members, people leaving the church in a huff, programs that didn’t meet expectations, and painful conflict. This side of heaven we can’t avoid the pain that leadership sometimes brings. Some leaders bounce back quickly from such adversity. Some don’t. So what does a “bounce back” leader look like? As you read the following list, ask yourself how many of these qualities would characterize your leadership when you face adversity.
The term often used for this ‘bounce back’ quality is called resilience. So we could actually call this list “The Resilient Leader.”
- Don’t lead from perpetual caution. They take reasonable risks, but don’t “bet the farm” on risky leadership options.
- Admit they hurt when they face setbacks. They are honest about how much it hurts. However, they don’t wallow in their pain. The more we ruminate over our disappointments, the more we actually strengthen the fight-flight-freeze-appease parts of our brain which in turn dampens our ability to think clearly.
- Seek to learn new insights from their setbacks. Often a setback can be a blessing in disguise, for without it we would not be open to new learning. Resilient leaders are perpetual learners.
- Keep a long haul perspective through difficulty. Failure is never fatal nor final. Rather, it prompts resilient leaders to step back and refocus on their long term goals, objectives, and core values. Read my post here that explains how we can discover our true north values.
- Refuse to let their devotional life slip. In fact, such leaders recognize that in tough times they must draw closer to Him for strength and wisdom.
When you’ve observed great leaders face disappointment and setbacks, what qualities have you seen in them?
A year ago I began a new adventure…leading a new church in a new country. I accepted the lead pastor role at a great church in Canada, West Park Church in London, Ontario. This church is filled with great people committed to God and the cause of Christ. I’m loving my time here and although I’ve faced some challenges this first year, overall it has been a great year. Before I even started, I spent three weeks preparing for my new ministry and I learned these 4 keys necessary to start well and sustain healthy ministry. I’ve also included 13 questions that help us determine how well we are leading.
I use the acronym PALM to illustrate these 4 simple keys. It describes four practices that not only make a new transition go smoother, but represent leadership priorities I recommend every good leader embrace whether or not he or she is new to a ministry role. I’ll briefly explain them and then pose some questions to help you evaluate how well you are embodying these principles.
Prioritize family and self care. This concept simply means that to lead well, we must lead ourselves and our families well. I once heard Chuck Swindoll say that a healthy ministry flows out of a healthy marriage.
- How would your spouse or kids say you are doing in keeping family a priority?
- How often do you take a day off when you truly disconnect from your leadership role?
- Are you getting enough sleep and exercise?
- Are you saying ‘no’ enough to demands people try to place on your time that you know if you said ‘yes’ would not further your mission?
Avidly over-communicate. This concept implies that leaders must intentionally use multiple means to keep theirs churches and teams informed of what’s happening.
- Do you have an intentional process you use to communicate to others progress in achieving your goals and key initiatives?
- How many tools do you use to communicate? Or, do you count on one method and hope it’s successful?
- How often do you repeat your church’s overall purpose and objectives?
Listen and learn. This idea embodies the principle that good leaders are learners and learning happens when we assume a listening posture.
- In meetings how much talking do you do? Are you mostly telling or asking questions and listening?
- When you meet new people, do you ask about their lives or do you talk about yourself?
- When others are talking to you, how often do you mentally check out as you prepare your response?
Manage change wisely. For any church or ministry to make a Kingdom difference it requires that we effect change. But change for change’s sake seldom moves us forward. However, wisely managed and needed change will make a Kingdom difference.
- How often do you include in the conversation about a potential change those who would be affected by such a change?
- When you bring change, how often do you evaluate after the change to learn how well it went?
- What changes need to be made now in your setting and what are you doing to prepare your church or team for the change?
Leadership brings leaders great fulfillment, especially when we lead well. Consider how you might apply these 4 keys in the PALM acrostic to your leadership setting.
What other keys have you discovered that make for successful leadership?
Churches, non-profits, and businesses require emotionally healthy and aware leaders. While competency, good management skills, and vision casting ability certainly matter, research now shows that emotional intelligence (EQ) profoundly impacts leadership effectiveness as well. One aspect of EQ, knowing our emotions, reinforces the idea that leaders must never be moody ones. Neuroscience gives us four reasons why.
Before I list the reasons why leaders should never be moody, here’s how I describe a moody leader.
- Employes and followers aren’t sure what kind of mood he will bring to work.
- When he feels anxious, which is often, he’s short with others and demanding.
- He thrives on drama in the workplace.
- He lacks self-awareness of how he comes across when he’s emotional.
So, here’s how neuroscience informs us about the downsides of moody leaders.
- Emotional contagion. Emotional contagion is the term that describes how others catch our emotions. If a leader is often moody, sour, or negative, that attitude will permeate that organization or church. I was once treated very rudely when I ordered a hamburger and fries at a hamburger joint. A few minutes later the cook yelled at the person who waited on me. At that point I realized who actually waited on me, the owner of the restaurant. His employees had ‘caught’ his bad attitude. I never returned.
- Uncertainty. Our brains don’t like uncertainty. When we sense it (“I wonder what kind of mood the boss will be in today?”), it sets up an avoidance response in us. Or flight-fight-freeze-appease center (the limbic system) ratchets up which results in fear, less team cooperation, and less creativity in the workplace. Moody leaders infuse uncertainty into the workplace. (My blog here describes our brain’s 3 leadership systems we should be aware of.)
- Mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are a specialized group of brain cells that cause us to mimic goal directed behavior. For example, when we see someone yawn or smile, we tend to subconsciously yawn or smile. But such behavior is not limited to yawns and smiles. If a leader constantly frowns or furrows his brow in a disapproving way, it sets a negative tone in the workplace or the church. Yet, genuine smiles can do the opposite by encouraging a positive, productive work setting.
- Theory of mind. Theory of mind is a concept that says our minds can somewhat intuit what others are thinking and feeling. Although not mind reading, the process called mentalizing, helps us understand another’s mental states. Mentalizing helps us imagine and interpret their needs, desires, feelings, and goals. When a leader brings moodiness into relationships, he inadvertently leads others to intuit negative intents, purposes, or desires which that leader probably does not want his followers or employees to think or believe.
So you can see that moody leadership does not contribute to healthy teams, trust, creativity, leadership effectiveness, or cooperation.
If you think you may be a moody leader, ask someone who truly cares about you to gently remind you when you start acting moody.