Should a Pastor be Accessible 24-7?

Accessibility. An issue that probably every pastor struggles with. Should we make ourselves accessible around the clock or should we not? Here are my thoughts and some helpful practices. I’d love to hear yours as well.

I believe that pastors who make themselves accessible 24/7 can’t do the job God has called them to do. We must proactively plan how we spend our days, making sure that we allocate time for our key responsibilities that include sermon prep, strategic planning, and leadership development. Although emergencies sometimes must take precedence over our planned schedules, we must manage our time to reasonably meet people’s personal needs while still fulfilling the strategic roles we must play.

On the other hand, I’ve known some pastors who simply don’t make themselves accessible at all. I knew one pastor who told me that he disappeared after a Sunday service because he didn’t want to interact with people. He didn’t last long in ministry. I’ve found that most church people will not abuse the access you give to them. We are called shepherds and we must spend time with the sheep. Otherwise, we won’t know their needs, hurts, and pains and as a result, we can’t lead the church to help meet those needs.

So in my view, wisdom must dictate how accessible we allow ourselves to be. We must guard our time so that we can accomplish our strategic roles I mentioned above. At the same time we must interact with people which requires reasonable accessibility.

Here’s what I do to try to keep a balance. I’ve certainly not arrived, but these practices have served me well.

  • I use two email addresses. One I use regularly is not public. The other is available through our web site that goes directly to my assistant. Often she can handle many of the requests that come via that email address. Those that I must handle, she forwards to me.
  • I don’t feel obligated to immediately answer every call that comes to my cell phone. Sometimes I intentionally let the call go to voice mail and answer the call later in the day when I return calls.
  • I have determined who needs to have the highest priority access to me. My family, our elders, and our key staff have the highest access to me. They have my cell phone number and know that in an emergency they can call or text me. I’m there for them. If they become aware of emergencies in our church, they can quickly get in touch with me. This recently happened with a sudden death in our church. Once I was alerted, I immediately met with the family.
  • I guard against getting sucked into Facebook. I interact very little on Facebook. I do use Twitter and link it to my Facebook and Fan page, but I seldom chit-chat on Facebook. Often, though, I will interact on Twitter because it takes little of my time.
  • I often float in our lobby to make myself available for people just for chit-chat.
  • When I close each service, I say that I will be at our guest area in the lobby and that I’d love to meet people I’ve not yet met. One of our elders closes the service with prayer while I walk to the lobby. Visitors and regulars often come to chat with me at that time. We both enjoy it and our church people feel that I am accessible, often through simply watching me interact with others in a visible place.
  • When someone tells me on a Sunday that he or she wants to meet with me, I put the onus on them to call the church office. I explain that my assistant schedules appointments. Only about 25% actually call back. I work off the premise that if someone really wants to meet with me, they will take the effort to make the call and schedule the appointment with my assistant.

It’s always a challenge to strike the right balance. But if we approach accessibility with a plan, I believe we’ll get done what needs to get done while at the same time maintain healthy accessibility.

How do you handle accessibility?

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Are you a Wounded Pastor? 5 Critical Choices to Take if you are

Woundedness. A condition this side of heaven we all will face from time-to-time. Pastors are not immune. I’ve been hurt and you probably have been as well. If you’re a wounded pastor right now because of what someone in your church or family said or did, what should you do? Consider these five critical choices that can help you deal with your hurt.

  1. Recognize and acknowledge your basic behavioral response when you get hurt.
    • God wired our brains to act quickly when we feel threatened. Two small almond shaped cluster of neurons (brain cells) called the amygdala lie deep in the brain. When we feel danger or threat (i.e., someone hurts us), they enable us to respond quickly. Although they are quick to respond, they don’t differentiate very well between a real tiger in the woods (real danger when we need to run to keep from getting eaten) and a paper tiger (someone in your church who said something hurtful to you).
    • Here are the four basic responses to hurt. When we become aware of the one that is our predominant reaction, we can then become more proactive to not let it get out of hand.
      • Fight: we react, become defensive, yell, scream, refuse to yield
      • Flee: we physically or emotionally cut ourselves off from others, become passive aggressive, quit talking, shut down
      • Freeze: we don’t take any position, we stay neutral and don’t do anything when we should do something
      • Appease: we people please, try to keep the peace at any price, compromise convictions, enable the person to continue in his or her hurtful behavior
  2. Act as if.
    • Jesus said in Luke 6.27 that we must love our enemies. The word for love is the word agape, a love that is not based on the merits of the other person. This love is not something that happens to you (i.e., like someone who ‘falls’ in love). Rather agape love is a choice of our will superintended by the Holy Spirit that allows us to love the offender even when we don’t feel like it. It is an ‘act as if’ kind of love.
  3. Guard your tongue.
    • When someone hurts us it’s easy to lose control over what we say in return. Jesus says in Luke 6.28 that we must bless those who curse us. To bless is the opposite of cursing. It is using our words in a God honoring way rather than in a vindictive or a ‘tit-for-tat’ way.
  4. Wish the best for your offender.
    • Again in Luke 6 Jesus makes some astounding statements about how we should treat those who have hurt us: turn the other cheek, bless them, pray for them. When Jesus makes these statements he’s not prohibiting self defense. Neither does He imply that we should pray that our offender would continue in his or her hurtful ways or that they should necessarily get their way. Rather, He’s saying that as we pray we pray for God’s best for that person. Often their greatest need is for true repentance so that they can experience God’s forgiveness. John Piper aptly explains what it means to pray for and wish the best for our offenders.
      • Prayer for your enemies is one of the deepest forms of love, because it means that you have to really want that something good happen to them. You might do nice things for your enemy without any genuine desire that things go well with them. But prayer for them is in the presence of God who knows your heart, and prayer is interceding with God on their behalf. It may be for their conversion. It may be for their repentance. It may be that they would be awakened to the enmity in their hearts. It may be that they will be stopped in their downward spiral of sin, even if it takes disease or calamity to do it. But the prayer Jesus has in mind here is always for their good.

  5. Lean into Jesus.
    • Jesus commands in Luke 6 may seem like nonsense statements. If you’ve been deeply hurt, these first four choices are impossible on willpower alone. It takes supernatural strength to respond in a godly way to those who hurt us deeply. When we lean into Jesus and respond appropriately to such hurt, we act most like God. When we lean into Him, the Holy Spirit will give us the strength we need to not yield to our default responses. Rather, He will give us the wisdom, stamina, and strength to respond to our offender in a God honoring way.

What has helped you deal with hurts in ministry?

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The Cortisol Stress Flooded Church: 9 Signs and 8 Antidotes

Cortisol, the stress hormone, is often associated with negative effects that prolonged stress puts on our bodies. Those effects  include weight gain, anxiety, heart disease, depressed immune system, digestive problems, sleep impairment, and even effects on memory. But could churches be negatively affected by cortisol as well? That is, if the leaders and culture of that church are constantly stressed, and flooded with cortisol themselves, could it affect the church negatively? I think it can and does in many churches. Consider these 9 tell-tale signs of a church flooded with cortisol.

  1. Your leadership team seems to always be uptight, tired, and sick a lot.
  2. Little trust between staff, elders, and the people in general exists.
  3. The leaders incessantly push bigger and better programs and ministries. They often switch from one great idea to the next.
  4. Your staff experiences lots of turn-over.
  5. An atmosphere of suspicion and “the wary eye” seems to pervade the church and your teams.
  6. Staff meetings are conflict filled or staff simply don’t say much in meetings for fear they will get reprimanded.
  7. A heavy spirit seems to linger over the office and even the church itself.
  8. Tension and conflict fill elder and/or deacon meetings.
  9. You seem to focus most on problems rather than victories or stories of how God is working.

How many of these did you check? Granted, spiritual forces are at work here as well. It’s not just a biological thing. But if more than two of these are true of your church, you might need to take a good look at your church’s stress level. Your church may be flooded with cortisol.

How might a church dial down a cortisol culture? Consider these potential antidotes.

  1. Create a ‘do not do’ list for your church. Pare down what you do so that leaders and volunteers don’t feel run ragged. Do a few things well.
  2. Teach your leaders how to build trust. Here’s a recent blog on building trust. When we build trust, we help activate the trust neurotransmitter oxytocin in our brains that creates a feeling of safety and belonging. Here’s a video of a recent talk I gave on building trust.
  3. Build fun experiences into your staff calendar. Don’t make every encounter revolve around pressing ministry issues.
  4. If you are the main leader, dial down your own intensity. Take breaks during the day. Deal with your own stress. Take your day off. Disconnect from technology 24 hours each week.
  5. Begin your staff and elder/deacon meetings with praises and victories.
  6. Share stories in your services that point to God’s blessings and changed lives.
  7. Over-communicate with your church. When people sense they know what’s happening, they will tend less to assume the worst. When we assume the worst we become anxious and cortisol ratchets up.
  8. Smile a lot. Our brain has what are called mirror neurons (brain cells) that prompts us to mimic the intentional, goal directed actions of others. Model give body language to others that you want them to imitate. And, make it positive.

Do you think churches can be affected by cortisol in leaders? Why or why not?

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10 Secrets of Leaders who Forgive

Forgiveness. So very hard, yet so very necessary for leaders and pastors to lead well and experience personal freedom and relational health. Good leaders and pastors get the concept of forgiveness. And, it behooves every leader not only to understand and practice these 10 key insights about forgiveness but to teach them as well.

  1. Forgiveness is counterintuitive.
    • It goes against human nature to forgive. Yet God rearranges our natural instincts and impulses by His grace.
  2. If you don’t forgive those who hurt you, you will stay frozen to your pain.
  3. Forgiveness can break the chain of unforgiveness we can unintentionally pass on to our children.
    • Physically we know that we can pass defective genes onto our children. In a similar way unforgiveness is like spiritually deformed DNA that we can pass on from one generation to the next. The Bible says that unforgiveness produces the fruit of bitterness that defiles many (Heb 12.15).
  4. Unforgiveness can lead to unforgiveness’ cousin: revenge, the passion to get even, a delight to hear bad news about those who hurt us, or wishing ill of those who hurt us.
    • Desire for revenge keeps the pain of the wound fresh, like picking a fresh scab over and over.
  5. Forgiveness does not settle all all questions of fairness.
    • What someone did to you is still unfair and wrong. Grace goes beyond fairness. It wasn’t fair that they crucified the ONE who never sinned. Grace doesn’t fit logic. It’s supernatural and beyond logic.
  6. Forgiveness does not minimize the offense.
    • The very nature of forgiveness actually recognizes that an offense occurred.
  7. Forgiveness is often a process that happens over time.
    • The deeper the hurt, the longer the process takes. True forgiveness is not forgive and forget the hurt. It’s more like remembering it less and less.
  8. Forgiveness does not absolve the offender of the consequences of his offense (in the eyes of the law or in the eyes of God).
  9. Forgiveness speaks to the longing of every human heart.


    • A  story in Ernest Hemingway’s short story, Capital of the World, illustrates this truth. A Spanish boy named Paco never experienced a relationship with his mother and his father had kicked him out of the house for some reason. Later his dad regretted it but couldn’t find his son. The remorseful father decided to attempt to reconcile with his son who had run away to Madrid and he took out an ad in the El Liberal newspaper. The ad read, PACO MEET ME AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY ALL IS FORGIVENPAPA. Paco is a common name in Spain. When the father went to the square he found eight hundred young men named Paco waiting for their fathers and yearning for the forgiveness they never thought was possible. (source unknown)
  10. You are well on our way to forgiveness when you begin to wish your offender well.

Leaders must model and teach true forgiveness. When we don’t, we can actually keep a lid on the health and growth of our churches and our lives.

Do you believe that unforgiving leaders can hinder the health and growth of their churches? Why or why not?

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How to Do your Best and Leave the Results to God

Do your best and leave the results to God.  That phrase may seem a bit worn and trite, but it’s well worth heeding. So, just how do we do that?

In Christ’s parable of the talents, the master, representing God, gave responsibility to the servants based on individual ability. (Matt 25) The story implies that some pastors have greater competencies than others.

Similarly, Paul teaches that the Holy Spirit gives gifts as He sees fit. (1 Cor 12)

It’s obvious that the Spirit gives some pastors extra preaching or leading gifts, evidenced in the size and impact of their ministries. It’s easy to become discouraged when we do our best yet don’t see our church grow like others to which we may compare ourselves. When we wrap our identities around numerical results and the numbers don’t increase, the discouragement can overwhelm us. This is especially true for older pastors who realize they may never achieve the dreams they had for ministry.

David Goetz, a marketer and author of Death by Suburb, wrote,

I often sat in the studies of both small-church pastors and mega-church pastors, listening to their stories, their hopes, their plans for significance. I deduced, albeit unscientifically, that often clergymen in midlife had worse crises of limits than did other professionals. Religious professionals went into the ministry for the significance, to make an impact, called by God to make a difference with their lives. But when you are fifty-three and serving a congregation of 250, you know, finally, you’ll never achieve the large-church immortality symbol, the glory that was promised to you. That can be a dark moment-or a dark couple of years. (Goetz, p 43)

However, noted theologian Fred Rogers, of Mr. Rogers fame, recalled an experience he had when attending seminary. He wanted to hear a variety of preachers, so for a time he visited a different church each Sunday. One week he experienced “the most poorly crafted sermon [he] had ever heard.” A friend had accompanied him, and when he turned to her, he found her in tears. She said, “It was exactly what I needed to hear.”

Rogers then told his audience, “That’s when I realized that the space between someone doing the best he or she can and someone in need is holy ground. The Holy Spirit had transformed that feeble sermon for her, and as it turned out, for me too.” ( 9r5035. html?start=1)

Although the results from our best efforts may look feeble to some, they can touch a heart and change a life when we least expect it. This side of heaven we will never know the people we impacted through our faithful service.

What has helped you leave the results to God?

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Taken from Five Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them: Help for Frustrated Pastors (Kindle Locations 1813-1827). Kindle Edition.  Charles Stone (used by permission)